A couple of weeks ago I had a teacher panic moment. It had been a rough week with my students; they just didn’t seem motivated, and all the lesson plans I had thought would work so well crashed and burned. I found myself wondering, “Am I really teaching them anything?” This line of thought led to another question, one I’ve asked myself before: “Why does teaching English matter?”

But this time I didn’t want to answer it in the same way I would on a grad school personal statement. I wasn’t satisfied by the usual philosophizing about communication and the power of reading and blah and blah and blah. I know it’s only a quarter of the way through the year, but still, they should have learned something from me by now. And I just wasn’t sure that they had.

I think all teachers have moments like these, when they wonder if they’re really making the difference they set out to make in the world. And in my subject especially, it’s easy to wonder if the short stories and novels we’re reading will have any bearing on anyone’s lives in a year, or five, or twenty. So why do I teach English? What can my students learn from me?

I found my answer to these questions a few days later, while reading my fellow princesses’ latest blog posts here on the TSC. I was struck by the spirit that inspired us to start this blog in the first place, the same spirit that helped us write a novel and fill a journal chronicling our lives together. We did all these things, and we do all these things, because we want to stay connected. In many ways, our strong friendships are founded in the written word.

And it’s not just Snow Whore, Sleeping Booty, and The Little Merskank that I keep in touch with primarily through writing. Now that I live across the world, my main way of communicating with my parents is via email, and my extended family keeps in touch with me by following my blog. The more I think about it, the more I see how central writing has been in my life, from my first attempts at fiction and journaling as an angsty pre-teen, to long-distance love letters, to the Twenty-Something Condition. The most important relationships I’ve ever formed have all been maintained in part by writing. So where would I be without the ability to write?

I would be disconnected.

I’m not exactly sure how I can pass this realization on to my students, or if any of them will ever love reading and writing the way I do. But for now it’s enough for me to know that the written word does matter. It is making me a better teacher, learner, and friend.