No, no, this isn’t what you think. This isn’t the blog in which Cinderslut announces she’s caught the baby bug, although now that you mention it there are a heckuva lotta cute babies on facebook these days. That blog might come one day, but not today.
No, instead t
his blog is about baby talk. You know, that mono-syllabic mumbo jumbo we use on babies. “Goo-goo ga-ga,” for example. It’s natural, it seems, to speak in short, rhymey phrases when one finds oneself within 15 feet of something that’s wearing a diaper. So why on earth am I, Cinderslut, baby babbling, when I am utterly babyless?
Well. I may not have a baby, but as of about 8 months ago, I have a husband.
Now don’t get me wrong, I haven’t become one of those creepy mommy-wives who treat their husbands like infants. At least, I don’t think I have. And yet I find myself saying things like, “Let’s have a snacky-snack,” and “Cuddle-wuddle time?”
I kid you not! SNACKY. SNACK.
It’s like when I am around my big, cute, lovable husband, my brain reverts to preschool mode, the happy place where snacky-snack time and cuddle-wuddle time are the best parts of the day. And don’t even get me started on naps…
Maybe it’s an over-compensation for the fact that we both now spend all day at work at our “real jobs,” which require a decent amount of brain power. Then, we when we come home at the end of the day, our college-educated brains power down and all we can ma
nage to do is munch on goldfish crackers, while cuddling and mumbling “I wuv you,” like short-circuited furbies.
Sometimes though, we can even communicate in baby-talk about mature topics. For example, just today I sent the hubby a text message asking him if he’d be interested in some “sexy-sex” tonight. He was.
So I guess that’s a good sign. Even if we do sound like the most lovey-dovey married couple ever, as long as we can restrain the baby talk to our private world, no harm done. After all, the cuddly comforts of babyhood combined with the fun and freedom of adulthood make for a pretty great combo. And we’ll be really well-practiced by the time we do have kiddy-kids of our own.
you totally had me worry-worried for a minute there. NO BABIES YET. i am so not ready for a M.P.W.B.S. (married people with babies suck) blog.
as for this post. i’m not sure i understand. i agree that coming home from work your brain is fried and you really have no control over what you say, but… i can’t think of a time i’ve ever thought to myself, yes, it’s time for a snaky-snack… even with my dog I always use full words, though admittedly in a cooing tone. Did you see any signs of this before you started dating? What does he think? Could this happen to me?