Another Post About Balls

Last week The Little Merskank posted a rant about balls. But she was talking about the Cinderella type of balls. I am talking about testicles. Nuts. Nards. Apple bags.

I am talking about balls and birth control. Part of being in your twenties is considering exactly when in your twenties, or thirties, might be the right time to start popping out babies. And until that time is right, you have to figure out some form of birth control. For me, I’ve been on the pill for over a year, and it’s…you know, fine.

But let’s get to the balls. A few weeks ago I read an article about a promising new form of birth-control for men. I know that male birth control has been a long-sought after dream. Even back when I was first taking health class, I remember learning that a birth control pill for men was “in the works.” Unfortunately, though, it has yet to materialize, so men are left with condoms as their only option, and women have to be content with the pill, the patch, the IUD, etc. Now, though, it seems there might actually be a reliable internal birth control method for men on the horizon. It’s called RISUG or Vasalgel, and it’s basically injecting some simple chemicals into the vas deferens (tubes that sperm swim through on their way out) which will create a negative/positive polarization which, when the sperm meander through it, tears them apart so they cannot fertilize an egg.

Here are the pros and cons as I see them:

Pros:

• It’s cheap
• It’s minimally invasive, just a quick procedure in a doctor’s office
• It works for 10 years
• It’s reversible…in theory
• Inject it and forget it. You’ll never have to reach for a condom again, or remember to take a daily pill
• It doesn’t mess with hormones, and has minimal risk of side effects

Cons:

• What cons???
• It hasn’t been approved by the FDA yet, and most likely won’t be on the market until 2015

You see, the Indian doctor who invented it has been testing it successfully on men in India for years, and there is currently a study using it in rabbits which has shown nearly 100% effectiveness. And come on, if this can stop rabbits from reproducing, it sounds pretty effective to me. But there is still much more research that needs to be done. When I suggested hopping a plane to India and offering up my husband’s balls as willing volunteers, he was somewhat hesitant. I understand. Men are extremely protective of their balls, and the prospect of having someone poke them with a needle is not a happy one. But still, to me this seems like a great birth control option, and certainly less problematic than me taking birth control pills for the next umpteen years or having an IUD put in. Seriously, women have their reproductive systems poked, prodded, impaled, and chemically altered so much over the course of their lives that a little prick in the nards doesn’t seem like such a bad thing. Unfortunately, though, it’s going to take years to get this little wonder onto the market. So my husband’s balls are safe…for now.