You know that problem, when the people in your life that you love just don’t seem to get along with the each other? And you’re stuck in the middle? Well, I have been feeling that way a lot recently- especially as regards to my house.
So, I have three housemates- for blogging purposes, they can be A, B, and C- short of course for Audrey, Brandi, and Celeste. So, I like them all a lot. Brandi was my first real friend and Oxford, so comparatively speaking we go way back. I was so relieved when we decided to find a house together: she saved me from that terrible fear called having-no-friends-and-living-alone. Since moving into our house though, I have also become close with our other housemate Audrey. She is loud, fun, and easy to feel close to- reminding me a lot of Snow Whore. Now we hang out all of the time. Finally, there is Celeste. Now Celeste wasn’t living with us all year- she recently took the place of another housemate Diane- so really, I don’t know her very well, but she seems cool. She’s friendly and clean, so what more can one ask for?
Now, house tensions started back around Christmas. For some reason, Brandi and Audrey don’t quite get on. They are friends- sort of- but Brandi is always very critical of Audrey. Audrey will say things, asking for advice or sometimes just complaining, and Brandi will be harsh back to her. Sometimes what Brandi says to Audrey is just the truth, but it is the sort of truth people don’t want to hear. This situation makes me really sad. I love Brandi and I love Audrey, so I get left in the middle. I end up defending A to B- who also seems to think the worst of her- and with A I just try to show her that B’s opinion shouldn’t really matter that much: who cares if B disapproves? My council helps some, I think, but there is still this tension.
Now, however, there ar
e new problems. So roommate B has left for a while- going back to LA to sort of out visa issues- but in the mean time issues have sprung up between B and C. New housemate C had a natural disliking for Audrey back when she first moved in (apparently Audrey has ‘too intense of eye-contact’ or something). And since that beginning things have only gotten worse. C is resentful that A doesn’t do much to clean the house- which, to be fair, is true- and somehow this has morphed into a general disliking and distrust of A. And once again, I find myself in the middle. I am constantly diffusing the situation between C and A. Mostly, I am just telling C that A’s motives are not bad- although A may not be super cleanly, she is not the sneaky, deceitful person C thinks she is.
Lately, however, I have just started to feel fed up. It is true, that my work as peacekeeper has probably kept the house from exploding on a couple of occasions, but maybe it just needs to explode sometime and we can work from the pieces. I just don’t understand: why can’t the people I love just love each other? I hate being in the middle and wish people would talk to each other about their problems rather than complaining to me. The people in my house are all nice, well-intentioned people, it seems like we should all be able to live together like responsible adults without bickering, grudges, or passive agressive white board messages. It sucks to be stuck in the middle– I end up feeling like I am carrying the burden of peace for everyone in the house. What do you think, blogging world? Do you have a situation where you constantly end up stuck in the middle?
boy do i know how this goes. my roomy the last years of college had issues with everyone she’s ever lived with (including me… i guess i have a high tolerance for dirty bathrooms..). any who, it’s hard to be in the middle and you won’t believe how many times I found myself arguing my friend’s case even though i knew she was the one causing all the drama. It’s kind of like how the bad kid gets all the one on one help in school and the nice ones get shafted… but that’s how it goes. Some people just need people like you and me to stick up for them.