A field guide to growing up without growing apart

Condition of the Month: May

Millenials: who do we think we are? Who does everyone else think we are? What defines our generation? What are the misconceptions about our generation?

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I guess I am not sure what attributes our generation are normally given. Of the ones I know, I would say most of them seem more or less true to me. We are obsessed with technology and spend way too much time online or on our phones. Yup- pretty much true. We expect things to be easy; we haven’t had to live through either of the world wars or the great depression. Well… at least from my own experience that is more or less true. We are more mobile; we are less likely to be content to settle in one place and want to see the world. In my experience, that is pretty true– I even live in England now. However, necessarily these observations are only generalizations. And of course there is the question of who we are talking about when we say ‘our generation’ anyway. I think in reality we are talking more or less only about an American (and perhaps European) phenomenon rather than anything universal. However, even considered on this smaller scale, a generation is a huge and unfathomable thing. No two people are the same and certainly a whole generation isn’t going to be the same. So, I wouldn’t want to push ‘generational’ attitudes on anyone. Honestly, I rarely feel sidelined or judged for being part of particular generation. Maybe this comes in part from being in a field of study so archaic and backward looking— from the perspective of a thousand years or more, a generation is blink of an eye: hardly worth bothering about.

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I feel that people are obsessed with analyzing our generation. The “millenials” . How has the internet changed who they are as humans and culture?  The me generation that only cares about Facebook and taking selfies.
My main problem with all of this is that our generation is more than the internet, but that’s all anyone can focus on. Has the internet changed our society? Of course it has, but that doesn’t mean that is the only thing defining us.  Lots of things are different for our generation: politics, education, economy. The list goes on and on. I think the media wants to put our generation in a neat little box, but that is stupid and impossible. Of course, I guess that’s the problem with all stereotypes. No one can really be put in a box.
I actually try really hard to not let Facebook rule my life, and I’m not really a fan of selfies or the fact that they are called selfies. I do use the internet all the time, but I also love getting away from the internet and spending time in nature with no connection to anything but the sound of the wind in the trees. And, although I am definitely not perfect at it, I try really hard to continuously care about other people more than myself. It’s impossible to use one overarching definition for a huge group of people.

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What do people think of our generation? I actually wrote a post about this a few years ago now (can you believe we’ve been going that long?!) and I still have as much trouble now as I did then with getting a hold of our generation. I know the people below us are tech obsessed and the people above us are lazy, but who are we? I guess we’re a little bit of both, entitled and unaware, but in many ways I feel like we’re also strong and intelligent, brave and kind. We’re the first generation to be openly supportive of all sexual orientations, the first generation to grow up with Mr. Rogers preaching kindness and generosity. We know what it’s like to live without technology, but also know the merits of it.

What I’d say we’re most incorrectly known for is being the boomerang generation, not to say that the facts of that stereotype aren’t true. Out of everyone before and after us, we return to live at home after high school way, way more. Fact. But I don’t think it is because we’re lazy, or afraid, or entitled, or unprepared for the real world; I think it is because we know the value of money and are smart enough to see that in order to live the worthwhile and fun life we’ve been taught to expect, while also preparing ourselves for a secure career and financial future – it is the best way to really have it all. Living at home isn’t a failure if it allows you to live a life that is completely unattainable otherwise. Supportive parents are just a bonus. I don’t want to work or play, I want to do both and the fact that being a boomerang kid has allowed me to do that is a pretty huge success I think.

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To be honest, I can’t think of too many stereotypes about my generation, most likely because I’m a part of it myself, not someone judging from the outside. Sex, race, religion—those are the things I think I’m most likely to be judged for…but generation? I had to stop and think. Truly the only thing that came to mind is that some people think we millennials are lazy. But when I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that this stereotype is only partially true.

Some millennials are lazy and think everything in life should be handed to them. There’s a bit of this in me, too. I lived a charmed, easy childhood, never wanting for anything important, and since then things have continued to come fairly easily to me: a spouse, degrees, jobs—I’m not climbing the corporate ladder by any means, but I’ve been successful in the things I’ve tried to do, for the most part. However, it’s not as if I never had to work for anything. I think my parents did manage to instill in me a decent work ethic. I might slack off on the dishes occasionally, but when push comes to shove, I’m willing to work to get what I want. I can’t say that the stereotype is completely bogus, though. Multiple people come to mind when I think of lazy millennials who just aren’t willing to work, including my youngest brother. He failed at college, dropped out of the military, and searched for his first job for well over a year before he finally got one. But these days, even though he is finally employed, he complains about how his job requires him to stand on his feet all day, and it’s boring! Other examples come to mind as well, including several dead-beat dads my age who would rather smoke weed than hold a job or parent their children.

But I can also think of many millennials who work harder than just about anyone. One of my high school classmates made the unfortunate life choice of marrying one of those aforementioned dead-beats. Now, two kids and a divorce later, she’s had her tubes tied, owns a house, holds a full-time job to support her kids, and has primary custody of them. She does it all despite not having a college degree and with very little help from family members and almost zero support from her ex. Or, take my husband’s coworker, who stays late at the office an extra hour or two (or three) almost every night, and sends my husband messages about work on the weekends. There’s a reason that guy is a shoe-in for a promotion this year; he deserves it because he works extremely hard.

I think it’s natural for older people to consider us lazy or privileged, in part because our lives have been a bit easier due to advances in technology. But this is inevitable; someday we’ll be the old farts telling our kids that “it was a lot harder when I was your age.” Not all millennials are slackers, there’s just a sizeable percentage of us who still need to grow up.



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