So…I’ve officially taken my last birth control pill for a while, presumably until after I give birth to my first child! My husband and I have been mulling over the idea of starting a family for a while now, but it basically took all of 2015 for us to get to the point where we were actually on the same page and ready to take steps towards parenthood.
I wrote before about how I thought I was ready a few months ago, but hubby kept dodging my questions. That, combined with my own doubts and timing concerns with the academic year led me to pretty much put it off until now. This Christmas we talked more and agreed that the ideal time to have a baby would be spring of 2017. That would mean we’d get pregnant in late spring or summer of 2016. And THAT means, if I really want my cycle back on track by summer, I should stop taking the pill now. In reality I know I could get pregnant anytime once I stop taking the pills, which is why we’ll likely use condoms for a few more months to try and aim for that ideal timing, but my sister-in-law was telling me how for some people it can take up to a year after going off the pill before they ovulate again. So, though I know that is probably an extreme estimate, I’m done with the pill!
The pill was great—I’m a total fan. I didn’t experience any weird side effects and it was so gloriously simple for the last four years. But in truth, I’ve been looking forward to this day for a while. As terrifying as the ideas of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood are, there’s been a yearning in my heart for months, maybe even years, to be a mom. I actually got to the point where I was “forgetting” my pill a couple of times a month—sometimes consciously, sometimes subconsciously, and then at the end of every month I’d find myself hoping I wouldn’t start my period, even though I knew it wasn’t that ideal timing yet. When you start purposely not taking pills, well, you know you’re ready. Or crazy. Maybe both. I’m still not sure how I’ll continue my career, but I’m feeling secure enough in myself to know that even if motherhood takes me away from teaching for a time, I can take it up again when I’m ready.
I know my husband’s ready too, despite how much he loves our relatively carefree life together. In the last few months he’s become a baby-magnet. We have a lot of friends and acquaintances with young kids, and he will seriously make a bee-line to whoever is holding a baby. He’s always liked kids, but recently it’s been at a totally different level of baby fever.
For me, the moment I knew I definitely wanted to take this step forward was Christmas morning. Our nieces and nephews were tearing into their stockings, and all the adults in the room were one-on-one with a child, helping him or her open the goodies inside. All except my husband and me. When my mother-in-law commanded me to take pictures because I wasn’t doing anything else, I felt a twinge. I wished I had a baby in front of me who was my responsibility alone.
Like I said, we’re not actually “trying” yet, but it’s still exciting to know the decision has been made—we actually both really want to do this crazy thing—and in a few months I will hopefully have some even more exciting news to share with you.
GAH!!!! noise of me freaking out with terror/exhilaration
I’m so happy for you Cindy! You’re right, this is definitely a big step and one that we have no doubt you’re ready for. You’ve always been such an excellent planner, which in many ways allows you to be spontaneous and embrace adventures, so it makes sense that this next adventure has to start that way too. Whether you get pregnant tomorrow or in two years isn’t something you can ever hope to be sure about, but taking the steps to be prepared for likelihoods is a great way to start.
p.s. I totally have baby fever and it hasn’t caught on with my Utah crowd. Most are saying not now, not ever, and I feel like I’m the only one who can’t imagine a life without raising children. I’m hopeful some will come around to see the benefits, and I definitely don’t need everyone to have kids, but I definitely want to – and I should probably follow your example and take some steps towards that goal if I don’t want to fill out miles of paperwork to adopt on my own.