Plans….Or lack thereof
Last Sunday I had one of the best days I’ve had in a while. My husband and I didn’t have any plans and so I said we should just get in the car and drive somewhere. So that’s what we did. We drove with no […]
Author: Snow
Why Smart Phones Scare Me
I know this may shock some of you, but I’m just going to put it out there. I don’t like Smart Phones. This is the part where every tech loving person out there does a giant comedic gasp! How could I, someone who is a […]
My Mom and Me
I love my mom. She is a wonderful, strong person and I think she did a pretty decent job raising me and my brothers. However, despite the awesome person she is, we have never been extraordinarily close. When I went through my angsty, hormone ridden, “I’ll never fit in and everything is the biggest deal in the world” teenage phase at the end of middle school I refused to let anyone in–especially my mother. And even when I calmed down in High School, the pattern already seemed set and so I didn’t clue my mom in on that many aspects of my social life.
Unfortunately, this pattern has continued to this day. I think we have made a little progress, mostly due to the fact that I have matured and no longer feel the need to blame my mother for things in my life, and partially due to the fact that I have my own life now and we have a healthy space of about 100 miles between us. And yet, while I respect my mother and her opinions, I can’t seem to bring myself to bridge the gap, to go deeper with her, to make her my friend as well as my mother. I didn’t used to be bothered so much by this, but now that I am an adult, I feel like we should be peers, and I should be able to share more with her. The playing field has leveled somewhat and I find myself wishing that I could change things. In my dream world, instead of feeling awkward around my mother, we’re as good of pals as the Gilmore Girls.
However, in reality my mother and I have wildly different personalities and I often find it hard to relate to her. She is a pessimist, always seeing flaws and needing to change things. She is strong and she is serious. I am the eternal optimist, always full of energy, bouncing around and overwhelming her. I just feel like I am never proper enough for her, and am often a source of embarrassment. I know she loves me, but she wants a different life for me than I want for myself, and its so obvious that I don’t call her as much as I should because I don’t want to here the same questions again. Questions like “have you thought about going back to school?” “What about working for the government? That would be an appropriate job for you” “Are there any chances for you to advance in your current job?” I just know that she doesn’t approve of the fact that I graduated from college and don’t already have a stellar office job with full benefits and a respectable salary. She doesn’t understand the twenty something life even though I know her own life story, and I know she went through a similar time in her life.
I feel like its a sick cycle where I want to be friends with her, but yet I dread talking to her at the same time. I feel awful even saying that because my mom is not an awful person. So why is it that every time I try to share something personal with her, I can’t get the words out? I’m about to start speaking, and then my throat closes up. I just think that as an adult, I ought to be able to have a real, meaningful relationship with her. But I can’t seem to break the pattern.
My White Dress
As some of you may know from previous postings, I am currently trying to lose weight. It has actually been going fairly well, and I’ve lost over 15 pounds so far. However, it isn’t the number on the scale that makes me the most excited. […]
My Selfish Self
When you get married, there are all sorts of cliches and pieces of advice that people love to spout at you. “Cherish every moment”, “Eventually, the honeymoon ends”, “It’s all about compromise”, “The first year is the hardest”, “You have to grow together”, “Always fight […]
Why I Love Karaoke
On Saturday, I was fortunate enough to participate in a karaoke contest that was held during my cousin’s wedding reception. Now, some of you may be thinking “you were fortunate? you wanted to do karaoke?” Because to some of us, the thought of getting up in front of strangers and belting out a song that will most likely be semi out of tune, is just as scary as being locked in a bathroom with a ravenous tiger.
But it shouldn’t be that scary. Even if you aren’t someone like me, who has never known the definition of the word embarrassed, you should be able to enjoy karaoke. Because karaoke is a magical experience that makes you get to feel like you are a famous superstar who everyone loves, only unlike an actual famous superstar–nobody cares how good you are as long as you go for it. I wholeheartedly believe that every person should do karaoke at least once in their lifetime. And I know that might make you nervous, but all you have to do is follow a few simple rules and you will have a fabulous time.
1. Pick a good song: some people make the mistake of thinking that they want to pick a song that is actually musically interesting, or is by someone who is amazingly talented. That is not necessarily the route you want to go. If you pick a song that is too complicated you will most likely not be able to follow it well, and your audience will be lost. There’s no way you will be able to magically have the range of Mariah Carey–so don’t try. My advice is to stick with simple, cheesy power ballads. Why? Because in a power ballad, the quality of your voice matters much less than the force with which you belt it out. This will work in your favor. Also, you may not enjoy listening to cheesy songs, but audiences love a good cheesy performance for karaoke. Simply put, it is more entertaining, because when you don’t have to focus very hard on getting a complicated, serious song right, you have more energy to focus on putting on a ridiculous, and awesome performance. Some great song choices are: I believe I can fly, livin on a prayer, total eclipse of the heart, anything for love, I want it that way, etc.
2. Belt it out: one of the worst things you can do when singing karaoke is to half ass it. I understand that you’re nervous, but if you are going to go up there and whisper into the mike and refuse to look up from the screen, you should not even be up there. People think if they let themselves go and belt it out, they will make a fool of themselves–but the opposite applies in karaoke It is the ones who totally go for it that get the applause(no matter how bad their voices are) and the ones who don’t even try who end up looking like the fools.
3. Bring Back Up: if it is your first time, and you want to sing, but you’re nervous–just bring a buddy. Preferably one who has done karaoke before and will help you loosen up and get into it. I have been this person for many of my friends. And I always reassure them that it doesn’t matter because I will make a bigger fool of myself than they ever could, so there’s nothing to worry about. Nothing is ever as scary with a friend by your side.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously: I think this one is self explanatory. As I’ve said throughout this post, karaoke is meant to be ridiculous. So live it up, and don’t worry how off key you were in the second verse. It really doesn’t matter.
If you follow my advice you will have an amazingly fun time doing karaoke. Trust me. I am the one who convinced my mother in law to sing Neil Young for the karaoke contest while I did an absurd back up dance next to her. I’m also the one who walked away from the contest with the best performance award. What was my prize? you may ask. Why a t shirt with a picture of Charlie Sheen that says “winning” of course. And I’m wearing it right now.
Do You Feel The Burn?
Recently, I have decided to start to get in shape and lose some weight. I am proud of my curves, but in the past couple years, ever since I stopped having a free membership to my college gym, my body has definitely suffered a bit. […]
?
I must say that for my post this week I was at a loss on what to write. The creative juices didn’t seem to be flowing freely. Part of this had to do with thinking about what has happened in my life recently. As I […]
Barrage of Babies!!!
I love babies. They are cute, easy to cuddle, and even when they make a huge mess, you still can’t help but love them. They are a wonderful part of life. However, as a twenty something, I am not ready to jump on the baby bandwagon. Unfortunately as numerous facebook posts have recently shown me, a lot of my friends are happily aboard.
For the past two holiday seasons, my facebook newsfeed has been chock full of engagement announcements and wedding albums. And while the number of couples getting hitched was reaching astronomical levels, I felt I was handling it relatively well. I was about to be engaged myself, and I felt ready to be in the stage of life where my friends were getting married. And I believed that this stage would still last a few more years. But unbeknownst to me Facebook had horrors in store for me this holiday season. Instead of the usual barrage of engagement posts, I suddenly found myself in the midst of a barrage of babies with no way to escape!
I couldn’t believe it! Babies?? Already? Most of these people had only been married a year or two, at least half of them were around my age, and one couple had even been married less time than me (which is shocking because I’ve only been married for four months). I literally could not handle it. I still don’t think I can. I’m sorry world, but I am only 24 and it is NOT baby time yet! I still can’t figure my own life out, so I can’t even imagine having another tiny, helpless life to deal with. I don’t mean to sound cruel, because as I said I like babies, I just feel very strongly that it is not yet time for all of my newlywed friends to be having them. To give you an idea of the horrors I found on facebook, I will give you a list of some of the most scary baby posts I saw.
1. A post saying “Merry Christmas from the three of us” ( and then a picture of the couple standing by the Christmas tree while the girl holds her stomach).
2. A photo shopped picture showing the guy, then a plus sign, then the girl, then an equals three sign.
3. A picture of two pairs of feet standing on a beach, with a pair of baby shoes next to them.
4. (this is by far the most horrific one). A post that a mother to be put up as she was at the hospital in labor, saying “I’m at 4cm–6cm to go!” (thanks, that’s just the thought I want as I get ready to head to work this morning).
So thank you facebook for once again being the source of much emotional trauma. And be aware that when I eventually am in labor sometime in the future, there is no way in hell that I am posting about it.
January Condition of The Month
It’s that time again. Time for all four princesses to answer one burning question. Question: What is something that your parents don’t understand about you that you wish they did? Cinderslut: My parents and I don’t have fun in the same ways. To be honest, […]
Christmas and Families
This Christmas I was in the odd position of not being the hostess in my own home. I had gotten my parents to agree to come to our house since I got practically no time off of work. Convincing them was a miracle in the […]
Living With Boys
Before I got married, I anticipated many things about my new stage of life. I knew it would be a transition period. I knew that taking two lives and making them one doesn’t just happen in the blink of an eye with no bumps. But no matter how much you try and anticipate, the reality of syncing up your life with a boys life, in a tiny apartment, is complicated.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because I have been trying desperately for us to consolidate our stuff. Now the apartment my husband and I live in was already my home before we got married. I.E. I had a place for everything, there was decoration, and all of the tools/appliances we needed. And when my husband moved in originally, pretty much all he brought with him was his clothing and toiletries. But then last month, I come home to find our living room filled with boxes–the remnants of his life before me which he brought over from his mothers house. And suddenly, living with a boy was chaos.
You see, I am a purger by nature. I may not be the neatest person ever, but about once a year, I get in an organizing frenzy in which I decide which of my clothes, books, random mementos,etc. need to go in order to simplify my life. However, when I went through my husband’s boxes with him, it was obvious that purging is not his nature. I understand the desire to keep cute letters and little handmade gifts from over the years. Those have a place. I have a file folder with all of the sweet cards/letters I’ve gotten over the years. What I didn’t understand was the inability to get rid of the hundreds of Pokemon cards that have been sitting untouched in a dusty box since he was in middle school. I understand that those cards constituted a part of his childhood, but in the urban environment of constant moving and limited space, my motto is use it or lose it. It is the same with the playstation 2 complete with guitar hero guitars, a dance dance revolution pad, and about 100 games. Now, I am not harshly anti video games, and if he really used the playstation on a weekly basis, I would be more than happy to find a storage place for these things. However I can calculate exactly when the last time he played video games was, and it has been at least 8 months.
I don’t mean to sound like a control freak, and I don’t want to be one of those wives who makes their husband throw out all of their possessions because they “don’t work in the space”. I want to incorporate his style, and he actually brought a few pieces of artwork with him, which are not exactly my taste, but which I will be happy to put up because I want him to feel that our home is just as much his as mine. I just wish I could push him to recognize the possessions that he doesn’t need to hold onto anymore. He’s growing up, and I just want his stuff to reflect that fact.