A field guide to growing up without growing apart

Tag: boys

A Milestone In My Life: Reconnecting With Him Ten Years Later

A Milestone In My Life: Reconnecting With Him Ten Years Later

So there was this guy. I know, I know, for as single as I am (hint: very) I write about boys a disproportional amount. How many crushes and almosts can a girl really talk about before her friends start to worry? But, please, bear with […]

Condition of the Month- October

Hey, so we’re a little bit late this month with the condition of the month.  The Little Merksank will take all the blame for that as she has been neglecting her duties.  However, that special time of the month has finally come.  Indeed, it is […]

May–Condition Of The Month

This month the naughty princesses were asked about the words they live by. When you’re going through the twenty something condition–what are the thoughts that keep you going? What is your Motto for this stage of your life, and how is it helping you get by?

sleeping booty tileThere are a ridiculous number of phrases I repeat to myself daily. This list includes but is not limited to:

 Keep Calm and Carry On.

• Now is the Best Moment (so that means… wait for it… now is the best!).

• Stillness is what creates Love. Movement is what creates Life. To be still, yet still moving – that is everything.

•  So much to do, so little done, such things to be.

• The opposite of love is indifference

• Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion

• Anything can happen

But just because I tell myself those things doesn’t mean my life stays true to them. Or even that I’m even heading in those directions. Instead of living each moment like it’s precious and working hard to make things happen for my future self, I’ve started looking at this time in my life as an intermission, as an in between time I have to catch up on all the things that I let slide before. Living at home and working this job have been an excuse to dedicate my free time to finally tackle those items on my to-do list that never manage to get crossed off. And while I know I’m kidding myself that the world will wait for me while I take a breather this year, let me tell you, it feels SO GOOD to cross some of these projects off my list. I can’t wait for my future when I’ll have such things to be and my movement and carrying on will make each passionate moment better than the last, but right now my truthful mantra is “What can I check off my list today?” and guys, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

–Sleeping Booty

cinderslut tile (2)There’s a simple phrase that has become very useful for me ever since I moved to the middle east: Inshallah. That’s Arabic for “God-willing,” or “if God has willed it.” Around here it’s used non-stop, anytime anyone is talking about the future. It’s actually maddening to hear the mechanic tell you your car will be fixed “next week, inshallah,” or to have a colleague tell you they’ll finish that project “by June, inshallah,” because by adding that handy word onto the end, they’ve released themselves from personal responsibility for getting anything done. This is something my husband encounters at work more than me, but it is still funny to me how everyone can be so NOT in a hurry to do things. I guess I lived in the time-obsessed, fast-paced West for too long.

So why is this pesky phrase my new motto? Well, first of all because I can’t deny that it has its uses. I find myself using it in normal conversations, and it’s perfect for when my students ask me questions. “Will there be extra credit this quarter?” “Hmmm…inshallah.”

“When will you finish grading our papers?” “By Tuesday…inshallah.”

You see what I mean. But even more than its utility, I appreciated the literal meaning behind it. Sometimes no matter how meticulously I plan and schedule, things just don’t go right. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. “Inshallah” is a good reminder that I’m not in control as much as I think I am. And as I prepare to move to a new place, without friends, a job, or a clear purpose for my days, I need this reminder more than ever. I’ll find my place there and (inshallah) start a great new adventure; I just have to recognize that God’s will in my life supersedes my own.

–CinderSlut

little merskank tileFor some reason, I feel like I have had a lot of mottos this year- more than normal.  I don’t even know if they are true.  I have particular doubts about one of my currently most go-to mottos: more information is better.  In the past nine months or so this motto has been one of my guiding principles in relationships, causing me to act with unusual boldness for a closed-off, introverted person.  If you read any of my Lady Mareena posts you would know that I have been confronting men right and left (well, at least a few times).  I have asked them about their intentions, told them about my feelings, and touched on other taboo subjects.  This is not in line with my character (or at least with my character for my first 20-or-so years).   But somehow, somewhere along the line I just got tired of the game.  Does he like me?  Does he know I like him?  He just sent me a flirty text- what does that mean?!  It can be so frustrating, why don’t people just tell you what they mean?! And hence the motto: more information is better.

I am honestly not sure if this motto is always true, sometimes giving too much information can be unnecessarily hurtful to people—I know there has to be a place for discretion.  However, for this stage in my life at least, I have decided to lean on the other side a bit.  Feelings and relationships are sticky things and the first step to making them easier is being direct.  Besides, don’t people generally make better decisions when they are better informed?   At least thus far, I don’t regret any of the instances where I have breached the peace and laid my cards on the table.

–Little Merskank

snowwhore tile“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”

Most of you have probably heard this famous Eleanor Roosevelt quote before, but I never thought much about it until recently. I’m not going through some time of extreme persecution or anything, but I feel like this quote is very useful to my twenty something life.  So much of being in my twenties has been about the unknown and constantly changing plans while the world is screaming at you about good careers and 401K’s and making money. Let’s just say it is very easy to feel not good enough when your mother asks you for the hundredth time if you’ve found any better job opportunities, or you talk to one of your friends who is ‘set for life’ because they’re a smarty pants engineer and Boeing recruited them. In these moments I have to remember—they can’t make me feel inferior unless I let them. So what if I don’t have a job with a six figure salary? I’m having fun with what I do, even though I’m poor. There is no need to be ashamed. My job is not my whole life, and just because I don’t have everything figured out, it doesn’t make me any less of a person.

Every time I think of that, I can feel the worries and anxiety lifting away. I am proud of who I am, and what I’ve done. I may not be earning the big bucks, but I’ve spent my time investing in people, and learning as much about the world as I can—and that is nothing to feel inferior about.

–Snow Whore

Living With Boys

Before I got married, I anticipated many things about my new stage of life. I knew it would be a transition period. I knew that taking two lives and making them one doesn’t just happen in the blink of an eye with no bumps. But […]