A field guide to growing up without growing apart
A month or two ago we hired a new person at the company I work for and since we are small and haven’t hired anyone new in a while, it has been a bit of an adjustment. Because we’re so tight knit, we’re pretty flexible […]
For this month’s COTM I’ve asked my friends to think about their work / life balance. What would be an ideal balance between work and home life look like, or is it all actually the same thing? And what about the future, will things change […]
It’s time for the holidays! What’s on your Christmas list this year? For us, not much, really. Just, you know, fulfilling careers, new cars, family approval, and more than 24 hours in the day. Hopefully we Naughty Princesses have been nice enough to receive a bit of what we’ve wished for.
Christmas! Eek! It’s the most wonderful time of the year, but this year I’ll be spending it abroad for the first time ever. First Christmas since birth not seeing my parents on Christmas morning to open gifts. First Christmas without a Starbucks red cup. Sigh. You get the picture.
But though it’s sad to be missing out on the festivities at home, I’m also really excited about hosting my first Christmas ever. My in-laws land here in the Sandbox in less than a week now, and we’ll be spending the next three weeks with them. Thus, I think my biggest Christmas wish this year is that this time would all go well and we’d manage to balance travel and new experiences with quality time and festive holiday traditions.
On actual Christmas we’ll all be camping in the desert in Jordan, which definitely WON’T be like Christmas jammies and stockings and all that. But I’m hoping it will be a memorable Christmas in a different way. After all, wasn’t the first Christmas spent by a young couple out in the desert, just a few hundred kilometers from where we’ll be?
My in-laws are bringing gifts, but honestly, there’s nothing I really need. The true gift is the fact that they are coming at all. That my sometimes hard-to-please mother-in-law is putting herself on a grueling, expensive flight to come to MY home for the holidays. It truly means a lot. But in 2.5 years of marriage, I’ve never hosted my husband’s parents, and they’ve never had the chance to see us in our “natural habitat.” That’s what makes this so exciting. I just hope I live up to their expectations (and my own) and can somehow create a Christmas to remember for all of us.
–Cinderslut
What’s on my Christmas list? So many things. I can think of a lot of things that I would love to have but that I can’t afford.
We need a new car. One that has airbags and 2 working headlights. We don’t have a TV right now. Our laptop is old and needs to be replaced. Our apartment is a crappy basement across from a giant noisy construction zone. But when I say all of those things I just feel like I’m complaining and sounding selfish. I feel guilty because, shouldn’t I just be able to count my blessings?
And then there are the more intangible things that I wish for as well. A new job. One that doesn’t make me crazy and maybe actually pays me a decent wage. More self-esteem and encouragement for my husband. Most of all I would love to get back the feeling and belief that I can do anything I want in life. I feel less and less like I have that choice every day. All the reports and studies I see are saying that companies won’t pay young people a wage that keeps up with inflation, and that we are being flooded with cheap jobs, but not decent ones. Oh for the idealistic views of my college days.
Now I feel like I’m being a huge Christmas downer. I actually love Christmas and I will still enjoy it regardless of my circumstances.
–Snow Whore
Christmas! Snow and lights and reunions and food! It’s hard not to adore this time of year, and now that I’m not living with my parents I’m really looking forward to spending as much time with them as I can over the holidays. I knew I’d miss living with them, but it’s definitely been just as hard as I expected. They’ve been my best friends for the last 2+ years, it is strange to suddenly have to treat them like parents again instead of roommates. But this is good for me, I know, and I know the real thing I’m stressed about is finding the right job.
Finding a career is at the very tip top of my Christmas list this year, and while I could also use ski pants, a nice winter hat, and brown boots, the only thing that I feel like I need a magic wish to get is a good job. I’m still so lost on what direction to go with my life and lately it feels like I’ve been looking to others to find out that career for me, hoping someone would just plop the answer in my lap. But when I think about it, I know that looking outside myself for approval or guidance is just getting me further from whatever it is I must know I want.
Today I’m supposed to apply to work with my friend (and housemate) as a billing specialist, a job that I’d learn a lot at but I’m not sure is really the direction I want to be going. I find myself dragging my feet as I fill out the application and I honestly don’t know if I should push myself and make it happen or if I should take a step back because I’m heading in the wrong direction. At Thanksgiving my uncle told me that I had to create my own job because applying for existing jobs is a thing of the past. My family friend thinks I should go back to school and get a masters in engineering and my parents are just as confused as I am, sending me mixed signals that I know I need to ignore but somehow always hit me right when I’m vulnerable.
All I want for Christmas is some clarity, and I think the only one who can give me this gift is me.
–Sleeping Booty
Honestly, I haven’t had the chance to think of Christmas much at all yet. This fall has been a challenging one for me. Between teaching a college class for the first time, having friends in crisis, and getting knocked out by sickness twice I have been barely able to keep abreast of deadlines, let alone do any work on my PhD dissertation. Christmas has been the last thing on my mind. However, I taught my last class for the term on Wednesday and then finished grading their last assignment on Friday, which means—finally—my schedule is looking a bit freer. Finally I can start thinking about Christmas… and, oh yeah, my PhD dissertation that really needs to move a bit over the vacation. So, yes, I would put that on my Christmas list: getting some research done. Honestly, this is not as glum as it may seem, as during this hectic term I have been kind of missing my doing my own research.
I do, however, really need to get started doing some Christmas shopping. This year (for the first time ever) I am not going home for Christmas. I am going back home in the spring for a conference anyway, so I decided it just didn’t make sense to go back for Christmas this year. Honestly, I am okay with this. I will miss being home for sure, but the idea of spending my first Christmas in Europe is also a bit exciting. The real problem is that if I am not going home for Christmas, I will need to ship my presents. As in, if I want them to arrive by Christmas I need to send them soon—next week at the latest. And what presents do I have? One present so far in total. Someone needs to get shopping.
So yes—my Christmas list isn’t too long this year. All I want is to find time to relax, buy presents, work on my dissertation, hang out with friends, and possibly write a blog post or two. Oh, and a little snow would be nice too!
–The Little Merskank
I know everyone is probably sick of hearing me post about work. But unfortunately, it continues to be the eternal thorn in my side. For the longest time, work was stressful because we were so understaffed and I was doing multiple positions by myself. Now […]
I’m excited to announce that my days of unemployment are numbered! You may recall that I recently had an interview for an office job. The interview went well, though of course I left the building thinking about all the things I should have mentioned but […]
Oh snap, ya’ll! Cinderslut had herself a job interview.
I’ve now been unemployed for about three months, and I had pretty much resigned myself to being happy with my Master’s coursework and some odd tutoring jobs until the magical moment that a suitable teaching position appeared. But, at the same time, I knew that it could be years before such a teaching job actually came my way. That’s why I was intrigued when I met a woman who worked in administration here at the university where we live and she asked me to send her my resume. I figured it couldn’t hurt, so I sent it to her. Later that same day I had scored an interview.
I was excited, but the prospect of this interview brought with it an array of stressful quandaries that I haven’t had to face in quite some time. You see, last year when I got my teaching job, my “interview” consisted of a tour of the school and the principal asking me point-blank if I would accept the job. Not exactly your typical interview situation. Prior to that, the last time I had an interview was in April 2011, so you can see—I’m rusty.
First, I wondered, what do I wear to this interview? I have a variety of business casual-type stuff I used to wear to work, but I could also step it up a notch and go for the black pencil skirt and jacket combo or the new light gray suit I picked up a couple of months back. But was the suit too formal? Was the pencil skirt too sexy? These are important considerations, especially when interviewing in a conservative Muslim country. So, I decided against the pencil skirt and went with my new gray pants and a black blazer, with a bright turquoise shirt underneath for a pop of color.
But what about the interview itself—what will I be asked? It has been so long since I had to sell myself to a potential employer that I was pretty concerned about not being prepared to answer questions. So, I studied up a bit. I constructed a brief list of my strengths and weaknesses and practiced explaining why I would be good for the job (which was tricky since I didn’t know exactly what job I was interviewing for). In retrospect, I could have practiced this more, because I still think I sounded a bit lame in the actual interview.
What if the big boss didn’t like me? I hadn’t been very intimidated about meeting her until I went on a road trip this past weekend with a couple of her employees, including the woman who had originally asked me to send my resume. When people describe their boss by saying, “You know that movie—The Devil Wears Prada?” Well…it’s enough to give a girl some cold feet. I also found out that this woman is one of the most highly educated and successful women in her country, and quite possibly the second or third most powerful person in the university administration. Yikes! Luckily she seemed pretty nice in person, and she was excited to meet me because I’m from Seattle. It turns out she herself went to school in Seattle, and her daughter is a student at my alma mater right now. Yay for personal connections! I tried not to show how inexperienced and intimidated I felt—she was throwing around terms like “project management” and “strategic planning,” and I was nodding along like, yeah, totally, I do those things all the time.
So, overall I think my first real interview in more than two years went okay. Looking back, I can think of several things I wish I had mentioned or said differently, but what can I do now? Basically I think they are understaffed and were planning to hire me regardless, which is always a great kind of interview to go into. J They’re currently moving forward with the hiring process, but it is complex because I don’t have a work visa, and this country is notoriously slow and confusing when it comes to dependents like me getting “real jobs.”
I’m excited by the prospect of being back at work, but also terrified because it will be in a role I’ve never really filled before (again—I’m still vague on what exactly that might be). In the back of my mind, there’s also a pang of guilt or dissatisfaction, because this isn’t a teaching job. I know it’s good to build my resume in other areas too, and who knows what might come of this opportunity…but still. In my heart I miss teaching, and I worry that this is a step away from my dreams. Still, I’m willing to give it a try and do my best. After all, I am a smart, educated, independent woman. If anyone can do it, I can.
Starting your career can be one of the biggest challenges of the Twenty-Something Condition. For me, the best steps I’ve taken in my career have been the ones I was hesitant about, the ones that felt like sacrifices but ended up being huge blessings. For […]