A field guide to growing up without growing apart

Tag: frustration

Getting Pregnant is Harder than I Thought

Getting Pregnant is Harder than I Thought

I wish I had happier news to share. But the truth is I cried yesterday because wanting to get pregnant and not being able to is incredibly frustrating because you just can’t do much about it. I went off the pill in January and with […]

What to do When Work Sucks

I am in a very interesting position at my workplace right now.  For the past two months my supervisor has been on maternity leave and I–lucky girl that I am–have taken over a lot of her responsibilities.  Now of course, I meant that to be […]

All I Want For Christmas Is You

What do you buy for the guy who has everything? As Christmas day approached, this was the question I was pondering in regards to a certain husband of mine. I’ve always known boys are more difficult to buy for than girls, my dad and brothers being good examples of this. But telf-with-christmas-listhen I went and married the most tricky recipient of them all. He simply doesn’t want much. Apparently he has always been this way; he was never the kid with a list a mile long. Even though I knew this about him going into our marriage, it has nevertheless caused frustration for me as I have struggled to come up with ideas for gifts that he would actually enjoy. Unfortunately, there are quite a few constraints on me. It can’t be anything too large, or we would not be able to bring it back home with us on the plane. It shouldn’t be something purely functional, like a trowel to work in the garden—that’s something we should just buy for ourselves if we need it. And I can’t go shopping by myself here in the desert kingdom, at least not without a lot of hassle.

So what to do? The other day I asked him to work on coming up with ideas for gifts, and he spent a good 45 minutes browsing the internet for various items of interest. Then, when I asked him whether any of those things would be good gifts, he said, “Not really, I don’t think I really want any of those things.”

My frustration was palpable. How can a person browse the internet for 45 minutes and not find even a single thing they would like to have? I asked him, “Don’t you ever see something someone else owns and think to yourself, ‘I wish I owned that too?’”

Apparently not.justin_timberlake_dick_box

He’s not a woman, so he won’t be appeased by any of the good old standbys that I would be perfectly happy to receive as a gift: jewelry, bath products, decorative house stuff, candles, clothes, accessories, etc.

 

I was actually very upset by his refusal to cooperate with my Christmas present plans. I was tempted to inform him that if that was how it was going to be, all the better, because I could save myself a lot of time and stress by not buying him any gifts for the next 50 years.

But then I stopped to think. Why should I be angry with my husband for basically telling me that there is nothing he needs or wants to make him happier? Why should the fact that he is perfectly content with our life together frustrate me? I should be counting my blessings, because I received the gift of a lifetime by marrying a guy who tells me and shows me daily that he is happiest just coming home to spend time with me.

So what he ended up unwrapping on Christmas day wasn’t anything guaranteed to make our life amazing, but it doesn’t matter.  We already have that.