A field guide to growing up without growing apart
Where to begin. I know that I have been pretty absent from this blog lately. I don’t really have an excuse other than living my life and trying to have as many experiences as I can while simultaneously trying to stave off the twenty something […]
Hey! So it’s that time of the month again! Our favorite time, the Condition of the Month! Well this month the princesses were given the task of all writing a piece of poetry for the blog. This was supposed to be about the season […]
Sorry that you haven’t heard from me for a while. I’ve been pretty busy. First I had to move out of my house in Oxford (sayonara roommate problems!). I am just moving across town– I’ll tell you more about my new place after I move in but think monks… Then, after all the stress of moving, I jumped on a plane and headed home for my bi- or tri- annual trip to 
the US. Being at home is always good—seeing my mom, my dogs, friends… This time, however, rather than just laze around my hometown (as is our norm) my mom and I decided to take a road trip to Yellowstone.
My mother has been mentioning on and off for years, how much she would like to take me to Yellowstone. I had never been, and she hadn’t been for maybe 25 years. So this summer, I was finally like: let’s go! You can’t stand around forever waiting for the perfect time- sometimes you just have to seize the moment.
So we did it. And now, as I type, I am in a little hotel room in West Yellowstone- we spent yesterday exploring the park and will go back in today. Tomorrow we will begin the long drive back. So yeah, it’s been fun. But travelling with your mom has its own ups and downs.
The ups are you get to stay in nicer places than I do with my friends. Not that we go super high class, but my mom wouldn’t want to stay in that dingy little hotel on the bad side of town where I would have stayed with my friends. The same goes for food- generally nicer than when I travel with friends my own age. It is nice to travel with some class for a change.
The downs: well, it takes us forever to get anywhere. My mom likes to spend two hours sitting around drinking coffee in the morning before we head out the door. So we never exactly maximize our time. Similarly, we stop ALL the time on the road. Every hour (or more often) we are stopping either for coffee, or to take a bathroom break (probably a direct result of the coffee stops). Luckily, I’ve never been a person who stresses too much about time. I figure: we’ll get there someday. It kind of sucks getting to your hotel so late every night that you are too tired to even check it out fully- although I have to admit, that my own gaff of missing our desired exit while on the freeway in Montana, did contribute to this on at least one occasion (when you have to drive 60 miles to the next town, you know you are in Montana).
So yes. It’s ten o’clock and here I am in my hotel room. Maybe it’s almost time to start getting ready for the day. Sometimes you just go with the flow. But I have to say though, at least for me, travelling with my mom has more ups than downs.
So I went to Las Vegas for a friend of a friend’s birthday this weekend and if there is only one thing you ever learn from me it’s that you are the ONLY person who can make your expectations a reality. My expectations were low […]
Friends I’m worried. What if social media is ruining our ability to actually presently enjoy anything? On Saturday I went to this thing called Color Me Rad and even though hundreds of people were theoretically there to enjoy themselves, in actuality I was hard pressed […]
Why hello there dearest friends, long time no see! I know it’s only been two weeks but doesn’t it feel like more? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore! So much has changed! Dare I say we live in a Whole New World?!
Okay, okay, so nothing has really changed. I’ve still got an office job, still living at home with my parents, still have no clue what to do with my life. Guns are still a hot topic, America is still overweight and airplanes are still a billion times safer than cars. But just because the big things haven’t changed doesn’t mean new and exciting things aren’t happening elsewhere! Like my brain! So to catch you up on the places my mind has been the last few weeks, here are
Ten Things I Think Are Awesome (lately) (in no particular order) (and including but not limited to):
Geology – Rocks rule. When I was younger, rocks were my number one interest; science projects and camping outings were all about rocks all the time. Over time I let my interest slip and now I know little to nothing about this giant pile of awesome we call home. But I want that to change. Doesn’t it sound amazing to be able to identify rock layers and travel around to collect the billions of specimens? I’d wear a big white hat and wander around the world breaking open geodes and analyzing dirt with magic science machines. If anyone wants to pay me to go back to college and/or grad school, I promise to send you samples.
Dame Maggie Smith – Oh my, I know my fellow naughty princesses haven’t been watching Downton Abbey but for those of you that have, can we just gush a little about the epicness that is Dame Maggie Smith?! She rocks those one liners out every time she is on screen and after all the melodramatic plot twists this season I can honestly say the only reason I’m still watching is her. She is the granny everyone wishes they had, the mother you want to impress and the young woman you would have been friends with. Sometimes she makes me laugh so hard I fall out of my seat. Miss Maggie lights up the silver screen as well in my all time favorite movies Hook and The Secret Garden, not to mention her expert turn as McGonagall while concurrently battling breast cancer and not ageing at all. I swear she is a super human who will live forever and continue saving the world one boring person at a time.
21 Day Grand Canyon Rafting Trip – River trips are nothing new for me. My family and friends have been going on week long trips every summer since before I can remember. We pack up all our gear and live off the boat for a week, camping and navigating the rapids with little more than a map and a groover (I dare you to click). But this year our friend has done the impossible and snagged a 21 day permit to raft the Grand Canyon in October. The Grand is a different beast, 3 times as long, rapids double the size and permits so rare that people wait their whole lives for the chance to raft it. So yes, I’m more than excited; I’m flerbbin’ flabbergasted. The problem is I’m not on the short list since I prefer NOT to be responsible for rowing my own raft through mile high rapids (though my brute strength, vast working knowledge and high caliber entertainment value places me solidly second tier). So I’ve got to plan my campaign for inclusion wisely and while October seems miles away, when it comes to the Grand I will get there by any means necessary.
Quilting – Have I told you about my quilting yet?! It’s been my major winter project to combine over 50 t-shirts into one giant king-size quilt. I’ve been saving t’s since I was a kid (hoarder in training) and when I moved home I knew this was my chance to capitalize on the time, space and my mother’s sewing machine. In my head this was going to be a two month project, though now it has turned into 4 months and counting. Last weekend I finally got all the squares sewn together and now I’m working on making the border out of the tiny logos. Who knew quilting was so involved?! But guess what, I LOVE IT. I learn something new every day and come sometime soon I’ll have a t-shirt quilt that will last…until it gets ripped or peed on.
The Dead Sea, Jordan – I know the Lumineers are big right now so forgive me for pretentiously name dropping a semi-less-known song off their album, but Dead Sea has completely taken over my life as of late. The lyric goes, “You’re like the dead sea, the nicest thing you ever said to me. I’ll never sink when you are with me, you’re like the dead sea.” And maybe it’s because I just saw a Sundance film about Jordan or maybe it’s because one of my closest friends grew up there or maybe it’s because Cinderslut has promised to meet me there sometime soon, but whatever the reason the Dead Sea and this song has fantastically rocked my world. It also doesn’t hurt that the song details the choices of the traveling girl I hope I can be.
Spiderman – Yup, officially not over this Andrew Garfield/Spiderman/Emma Stone/Gwen Stacey thing. I want to be and be with all of them all at once. Will real life ever match the magic that is that group’s awesomeness?!
Artsy Fartsy Film Making – So I was thinking the other day (I know, right?!), wouldn’t it be interesting to make a film where the actors never speak? There have been silent movies and subtitles and movies that don’t need a lot of dialogue, but lately I’ve been imagining a person telling a story, narrating it in a voice over, that is sort of watching the action unfold as they describe it. For example, when a narrator is talking about a conversation between two characters the film would show the emotions on the characters faces but wouldn’t show the actual dialogue. Neither actor would be mouthing words, but they would be demonstrating what their faces would be doing had they been speaking. We’d see shots of them looking at each other, looking down, looking back all as the narrator says, “he tried to explain but every time I looked at him I saw her face.” Or in a lighter scene a mother would be pointing to her son’s dinner plate with a stern look as the narrator said, “To her, watching me eat those peas was more satisfying than any straight A I could bring home.” It’s going to be a sensation. I know I’m a genius, one day the world will too.
Live music – I went to go watch my friend’s boyfriend play drums with his band Friday night and it was AWESOME. I forgot how much fun bars can be with good friends, good music and space to dance.
Les Miserables – So I finally saw the movie (I left work early on Friday to meet my large buttery popcorn bucket at the theatre). And like everyone else, I have quite a few things to say about it. But my story begins with my elementary school brain seeing the unforgettably amazing Les Mis poster and getting the impression the musical was a retelling of A Little Princess (It makes sense though a sad lonely girl being found by her father). The rest of my childhood is littered with magical appearances of this poster and convoluted explanations of plot and song, so unintelligible in fact that for a time I believed that the girl in the poster was me in another dimension, (really I did). It wasn’t until college when I stumbled upon the Liam Neeson film version at the library and realized that Victor Hugo had written a book which had become the musical which had repopularized the book which has .become countless film versions which has now finally become a musical film with super big name actors. My life was changed and after I bucked up and bought choice seats to the musical when it came to Seattle last year at long last I finally understood the show I’d grownup with but never known. Since then I’ve seen it all (haven’t read the book, but it will come) and am a self proclaimed expert. In the interest of keeping this short I’ll only say 3 things about this newest rendition:
And last but not least.. Who are we kidding THIS IS ALWAYS AWESOME
On Saturday, I was fortunate enough to participate in a karaoke contest that was held during my cousin’s wedding reception. Now, some of you may be thinking “you were fortunate? you wanted to do karaoke?” Because to some of us, the thought of getting up in front […]
Okay, I know it’s not really my turn to post. It’s just that I’ve been having the nearly overwhelming urge to rant about something recently, and in you, internet reader, I have a captive audience! And what are blogs for if not for unplanned and […]
It’s that time again. Time for all four princesses to answer one burning question.
Question: What is something that your parents don’t understand about you that you wish they did?
Cinderslut:
My parents and I don’t have fun in the same ways. To be honest, these days it seems like my parents live a pretty boring life, just working and then coming home and watching TV in the evenings. They don’t have kids at home anymore, and they haven’t yet found any hobbies to replace us. They are very set in their routine, and they don’t like to disrupt it. As such, they don’t do much that could be considered fun, at least in the way I define fun.
I, on the other hand, need a healthy dose of fun in my life. Playing sports, video games, board games, trying new recipes, reading, traveling, social events…these are all things I’ve made a place for in my routine because they enrich my life and make it just plain more fun. And some of these things just aren’t ever going to be a part of my parents’ lives, because they won’t make the effort. Their idea of fun is different from mine. An example is alcohol. Around the time I turned 21 I of course started experimenting a bit with alcohol. We’re talking sharing a bottle of wine with the Naughty Princesses, or ordering a gin and tonic at happy hour, not blackout binges. Yet my mother never understood that having a drink, or even two, could be fun; to her it was dangerous, uncouth, and borderline immoral. Now that I live in a dry country, making wine and hard cider at home is a hobby I enjoy, but you can imagine what my parents think of that.
My parents and I have fun in different ways, but at the same time I know I’m more like them than I’d like to admit. I too love to just kick back on the couch and watch TV—there was a Man vs. Food marathon on over Christmas at my parents’ house, and I was loving it! And maybe many of the differences between us have more to do with age than with inherent differences. I guess I’ll have to wait until I’m 60 to find out if I’m still an illegal booze brewing, world traveling fun-seeker, or just my mom, 2.0.
Snow Whore:
My mother and I are polar opposites, so let’s just say there are probably a lot of things about my life that she doesn’t understand. However, one thing that I probably notice and get irritated about the most is our differing ideas of propriety.
Now this covers many different areas. One of the funniest being the guest towel incident. I live in a two bedroom apartment and have unfortunately made the mistake of letting my parents know there is an extra bed at my place, meaning they crash there all the time. I wouldn’t mind that so much if my mother would just be appreciative of the shelter I’m offering instead of nitpicking. But of course, it’s my mother. In the morning she asked where my guest towels were. I said “well I don’t really have a specific extra set of towels, but there’s an extra one over here that’s clean.” With a horrified look on her face my mother then exclaimed “you don’t have guest towels?!? How is it that I have raised a daughter who doesn’t provide guest towels?” At which point she picked up her purse and informed me we had to go to the mall to rectify the situation and buy two matching sets of towels, hand towels and washcloths.
That’s the best example of what I’m talking about, although the propriety issue can range from everything from not speaking as loudly as I do, to crossing my legs sitting even when I’m in jeans, otherwise I look vulgar. I know she grew up in a different time than I did¸ but I just wish she would accept me as I am instead of still trying to be my personal Emily post. I am an adult now, and married, and I want her to understand and be ok with the fact that I run my household different than she does.
Sleeping Booty:
So I had a long talk with my mother last night. And when it comes to my mother, by long talk I really mean a good long listen. Usually my dad gets the brunt of these rants, but he was out playing basketball and since I’m living at home now there wasn’t much I could do to avoid it. Luckily this particular conversation was about my brother and his lack of direction-a topic which I have a great many opinions on, but still, it took all the soothing tones I had to keep her voice from breaking my ear drums.
Her concerns are valid, my brother turns 21 in a few months and has yet to reach sophomore standing at college. Our parents pay for his apartment and schooling (if you can call failing the same class FOUR times schooling) and he works at a movie theater a few days a week for some extra video game cash. My mother is about to lose it, mostly because he never calls and seems oblivious to the work they’re putting in to provide for his opportunities (namely the half price tuition he gets through her job-which she’d rather be working part time). She thinks it is time to cut him off, to stop paying for his apartment and only pay for school if he lives at home. He needs to learn some responsibility she says, and stop playing around.
My dad, on the other hand, wants to send him to Europe. Yes, an all expenses paid trip to Europe this summer where he would learn to live on his own and see a world bigger than his own. To him, my brother is just confused, not sure what his time is worth or what he cares about and it’s true. And a break from the daily grind of watching TV and failing classes is just what he needs to kick him into gear.
It’s a tough choice really; reward him for his mess ups or punish him for his ignorance. And who is to say either one will work? He needs a kick in the ass all right, but handing over a trip of a lifetime or having him move home isn’t exactly fostering independence.
The thing I wish my parents (and my brother) would understand is that communication is essential. My brother has no idea that they’re at the end of their rope, my dad can’t see that he’s walking on eggshells around his son and my mother refuses to even consider the Europe trip as an option. I’ve always been fine walking the middle ground but lately I wish they would work a little harder to understand each other.
The Little Merskank:
I actually had a pretty hard time answering this question. My mother and I are really close; I tell her most of the goings-on in my life—I even tend to tell her most of the boy-drama that goes down. However, of course, even though we are close she doesn’t and can’t understand everything about me: no one can understand someone else entirely.
So, yes, after some thought, I came up with the answer: my mother doesn’t understand my need for romance. My mother is very down to earth, and in her relationships, specifically, she is the most practical person I know. She doesn’t see love or marriage as something made up of deep feelings or passions, instead, she sees it as companionship and commitment to another person. She is not a person who goes in for red roses, and passionate embraces. In a lot of ways, I appreciate my mother’s perspective on love—it is so different from the ideals portrayed by the media, but it is more real and lasting. Anyone can have moments of passion but those are transitory and true companionship and commitment are things too often lacking in our world.
But…. I still want there to be romance. Maybe not something elaborate and extreme like what’s on the silver screen, but still I want to feel a thrill when I see that other person. Maybe moments of passion don’t last forever, but I want them there at least for a while. I don’t need someone to buy me a dozen red roses but I want them to hold my hand and to say they love me. And this is something that my mother simply doesn’t understand. It’s probably also part of the reason that I have such a hard time committing to different guys: I want to feel something, and if I don’t I drop them. Who knows, maybe someday I will give up on my unfilled dreams of romance and mystery—but until then, well, my mother can just never understand.