I know this may shock some of you, but I’m just going to put it out there. I don’t like Smart Phones.

This is the part where every tech loving person out there does a giant comedic gasp! How could I, someone who is a part of the media frenzied, Apple Loving, facebook obsessed, google-ing, wikipedia generation, say something so crazy? Well I have good reason. Maybe I’m going to sound like an old fart who does nothing but drone on about “back in my day things were simple,” but I don’t care. I recognize the usefulness of smartphones, and I know I will probably be unalterably attached to one soon. I came to this sad conclusion when I went to upgrade my phone and found that non smart phones don’t really exist anymore. But before I am forced to switch over to the dark side, I figured I would give one final stand against the empire that is the smart phone.

Reasons that Smart Phones Suck:

1. When I first got a cell phone, the great thing about it was how portable it was. It slipped easily into my pocket or purse. I could even fit it into my bra in a pinch. But with smart phones the current trend has been bigger is better. My husband recently got a new phone and it is so big that I can’t even fit my hand all the way around it. It wouldn’t even come close to fitting in my pocket. I know bigger screen= better video, etc. etc. but I don’t care. I don’t need a giant screen in order to call someone, or text them. I’m not 80 years old, and my vision is just fine. The size is getting so ridiculous in fact, that they’ve had to invent a new word for these phones. “Phablets”. I.E. so big that they are a cross between a phone and a tablet.

2. Smart phones= the death of spontaneity.  With any information you could possibly want constantly at your side, nothing is left to chance. There’s no more walking into a random restaurant to see if it’s good, you pull out your phone and figure out which place in your vicinity has the best reviews on yelp or urban spoon. No more hilarious stories of getting lost on a road trip and ending up in a small town in the middle of nowhere that is full of hilarious characters. With google maps you always know where you are.  I know that for most people this seems good because they don’t have to waste time on being somewhere bad, they automatically know what’s good. But I feel like the crappy restaurants and the crazy detours always end up being your best stories and memories.

3. People are so engrossed in their phones, that they don’t notice what’s going on around them. I know that this is an old tired argument, but it still rings true. I can’t tell you how many times I have had to ask my husband to put away his phone because I feel like he’s paying more attention to it than to me. And there have been numerous times when I have wanted to scream at my co workers who neglect their job because “they just have to check facebook.” Because as we all know, if you don’t check facebook every twenty minutes the world will end. I’m just sick of it. I literally want to smack people on the head and say, “Hello! There’s a whole world out here!”

I don’t want to get sucked into the smart phone world, but I just know that no matter how much I fight it, it will happen eventually. So, it’s been nice knowing you all. Send me a message on facebook and I’ll get back to you…