A field guide to growing up without growing apart
Life goes on, doesn’t it? Back in December I had to say goodbye to my husband, knowing I wouldn’t see him again for 4+ months. At the same time, I had 16 weeks of student teaching stretching out in front of me, an experience I […]
Hey there Princesses, I’m alive! And hello there to all you readers of our little blog that helps us 20-somethings stay in touch! It feels like our audience has doubled in the last few weeks I’ve been off the grid and though we get little […]
Well hello there blog world! I don’t have much time this week since I’m packing for a rafting trip this weekend (heading down to Cataract Canyon in Moab for four days of river bliss) but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about you!
The last few weeks I’ve been in craft mode overdrive, making not one but three scrapbooks, sewing seven pillowcases (out of a sheet from tjmax), and submitting my quilt to both my county and state fairs. I even designed (and launched) a new blog, transcribed all my fading letters into digital word documents, proofread the second novel I wrote with my fellow naughty princesses and finally got rolling on compiling the hours of video footage I’ve saved from college. It has been AWESOME accomplishing so many things on my to do list, so much so that I’m slightly worried about putting all of this progress on hold while I prep for (and TAKE) my Grand Canyon adventure in the coming weeks.
We have a lot to do in the short amount of time before October 1st. There are boats to gear up, coolers to freeze, booze to buy, arms to strengthen, wetsuits to try on, and a hundred of other little things to think about (we’re going to be living off a boat for 21 days – little things like drinking water and toilets become a big deal). And as excited as I am for all that, I can’t help but be a little bummed to be stopping short of crossing off my entire list.
Until now this year has seemed indefinite, a much needed break from worrying about my future to just focus on saving money and trimming loose ends from the past. But as of September first I’ve started feeling the pressure of the future again, my real life beginning to loom in the distance. It’s exciting, and I can’t wait to start living it, but at the same time I’m not sure I’m quite ready to leave these projects unfinished.
My next two months are booked solid and November and December won’t be empty either; I already have a trip to Tucson set and trips to Denver and Seattle almost locked down. I have friends coming to stay for Thanksgiving and a Fantastic Europe Adventure coming in February to start REALLY PLANNING for. Time is going fast and I’m starting to worry that I won’t finish all the things I wanted to do this year. What if I start the next chapter of my life still tied down by things from before? What if when I’m there I’ll be wishing I’d had a few more months here?
I still have at least four scrapbooks to make from college alone, not to mention all the memories I need to go through and organize from my pre-college life. I have old music videos to edit, our novel to publish (if we manage to do it digitally we’ll definitely let you know) and there is also this little matter of finishing up THE letter (which btw has turned into more of a novella – clocking in at around 150 pages right now and I’d say is about 75% done… I know this last push is going to be the hardest though, because while I know I’ve already worked through most of the hard stuff, saying goodbye to something I’ve cared about for going on six years isn’t easy). With so much left to do, will I ever really finish?
It’s all good though, because how can I really complain about all the awesome projects I might not get to do because my life is too awesome to have time for them? I’m happy, and being busy is all I can ask for, especially when it’s the kind of busy that I know is taking me places I want to be.
Summer is almost here, guys, and I for one am getting really excited. I’m a teacher, so summer means an extended vacation from work, and yes, I’ve been looking forward to those blissful days just as much as my students have for months now. This […]
This month the naughty princesses were asked about the words they live by. When you’re going through the twenty something condition–what are the thoughts that keep you going? What is your Motto for this stage of your life, and how is it helping you get […]
So. I am not sure if you all remember but the last time I posted about, well, guys was the rather intense Lady Mareena Encounters Even Worse Troubles. That chapter did, I believe, prove that Lady Mareena’s story is well named. Of course, you got the story in romance-novel paraphrase but you get the gist. Herman was a real jerk.
So I wrote him a rather angry (although I think also justified) letter which basically said: no, I did not want to be friends and p.s. you suck as a person. Okay, well I didn’t use those words, but you get the idea.
So–fast forward–Herman is still a jerk. At least, I think so. We haven’t really been talking, but its not like he has apologised or anything. So, the verdict is: as much a jerk as ever. But now, things are strange. The after-the-fact anger has worn off; I don’t really feel like I am holding a grudge. I just, well, don’t like him. But, the fact of the matter is that we work at the same place, if only part time. So we run into each other and the question arises: how should we treat each other? Now, if you knew me in real life, not just over the interweb, you would know that I hate conflict. I hate it. Indeed, even sending an angry letter was a significant endeavor for me. And really, I would never have done it if Herman hadn’t been, well, such a jerk (I am sure you are getting the point by now). So. Where does this leave us? Well, it leaves me keeping my distance—imagine oceans—but generally being, well, nice.
In summary: I’ve realized things are, on the surface at least, exactly the same as they were this time last year. It’s like somehow the clock has been magically rolled back—not just our big, bad conversation that happened last fall—but the whole, thing, the entire shang-bang, a complete year. And man, although I know in my head things are different now than then, it just feels strange. It’s like having déjà vu. It’s like I get to watch my past-self interact with his past-self. Luckily, my present self (or should I say future self?) is there too—watching over me—making sure I don’t make the same mistakes again. At least I better not.
But yeah, I don’t know how long this cordial distance can keep going. But for the moment, it is fine by me.
I do not have many friends. And I am absolutely OK with that. Part of moving to a new place halfway across the world is that you know you’ll have to start over and make all new friends. And, being a person who does not […]