The Desperate Housewife: A World Without Coffee Dates

It’s been two months since I left my job as a high school English teacher behind and moved so my husband could follow his coworkers to their new location. He’s thrown himself into his work, which hasn’t been as fulfilling as he expected, while I’ve been…holding down the home front. And that, quite frankly, is making me go a little cray-cray.

Rising each morning bright and early at 6 a.m., I stumble downstairs and make breakfast for the hubby and me while he showers and gets ready for work. At 6:50 I send him on his way with a kiss, and then…? I have 9 hours to kill, doing whatever I want. Does this sound like a dream come true? In some ways, it’s awesome not to have to be at work all day myself. I’ve caught up on my reading and have even been exercising regularly. I skype with friends and family, read the daily news, keep the house spic and span (ok, maybe just spic), and have been killing it as far as Pinterest recipes go. The other day I was talking to Sleeping Booty and she asked me what I was planning to do that day. Sadly, I knew the answer immediately: the big event of the day would be making my own applesauce! She laughed, and rightfully so. But that is my life right now! Relaxing, yet isolating and, when it comes down to it, dull.

I miss work. Of course, I miss my students and coworkers, but more than that, I miss having a purpose in life. Working full-time as a teacher was grueling last year, and often left me exhausted and drained, but the next day I was always excited to get back on the bus and try again. Every day was different, and I looked forward to doing what I was doing, every day, without fail. I’ve never had a job like that before, and now the absence of it absolutely aches.

But still, I think I could survive being unemployed if I had friends here. That’s the real problem, and the one I’m more frightened to face. See, I know I will work as a teacher again, even if it takes me a year or two to earn a position in this new place. In fact, I’ll likely be back in a school setting again within a few weeks, if only as a volunteer. But will I find true community? A circle of friends to enrich my life outside of work? That question is still unclear.

I picture myself back in Seattle, and I know things would be different. There, if I wasn’t working, I could fill my days with coffee dates, if nothing else. But so far here it’s been coffee for one. What’s a Seattle girl to do in a world without coffee dates? I mean, technically there are a few coffee shops on campus here, but that’s only half the battle. You need to have a friend to meet at the coffee shop. And all the people I’d truly call my friends right now live way, way outside my current coffee range. I’ve caught myself reminiscing about the good ol’ days of meeting a friend, a mentor, or a professor in one of Seattle’s bajillion million coffee shops. Back then it seemed like at least once a week I was darting off a bus in the pouring rain and ducking into a dimly lit, chai-smelling, indie music-playing safe haven of love. Now I have no rain, no chai, no indie music, and no one to share it with anyway. Okay, this is beginning to get a bit sappy, so I won’t tell you about that-one-amazing-time-I-holed-up-in-one-of-the-trendiest-coffee-shops-in-the-U-District-during-finals-week-just-because-I-happened-to-know-that-a-cute-guy-would-be-studying-there-too-which-was-also-the-night-I-first-saw-a-melodica-being-played-by-this-super-cute-duo-who-were-playing-live…See? Magic happens in coffee shops. And friendship and love and memories. I miss that, and this whole unemployed housewife thing just isn’t doing it for me. Something’s got to give—I’m getting desperate.