I am in a very interesting position at my workplace right now. For the past two months my supervisor has been on maternity leave and I–lucky girl that I am–have taken over a lot of her responsibilities.
Now of course, I meant that to be sarcastic, but when it first happened I did actually feel lucky. It was a chance to prove myself. It meant that I actually had enough actual work to do that I didn’t have to get creative in filling my time. But then the holiday season hit. Suddenly we were swamped with people, employees were calling out, and our equipment was breaking down. A perfect storm of total crap hit me straight on. And because our supervisor was gone, everything was being handed to me even though I didn’t actually have any “official” authority. Let’s just say I’ve been doing work far above my pay grade.
Now I like working hard, and I don’t mind having responsibility, but it is pretty annoying when you have the extra work and responsibility,but none of the perks that are supposed to come with it. The best example is that I am currently making everyone’s schedule, but because I am not officially management I don’t actually have access to the software in which we are supposed to record the hours that people are working.And of course, this also means that when someone has a problem with their schedule, I have to email the manager to get approval to change things or tell people that they can or can’t have time off, even though he never looks at the schedule and doesn’t actually know whether or not it should be approved.
But all of this I have been dealing with and doing fine. I’ve been taking everything in stride. But then tonight…..Tonight I got a very entitled email from our lowest level employee stating that the most recent schedule I had posted wasn’t going to work for her and I needed to change it. I double checked her availability, I hadn’t scheduled her during any time she wasn’t available. I combed my emails seeing if she had sent in a request to have that day off–she hadn’t. And yet she thinks that after a schedule is already up she can just email me all nonchalant and I will cater to her every whim and mess everyone else’s shifts up because she’s suddenly decided she doesn’t feel like working on a certain day. Now I keep my cool at work, but this was too much for me. I was suddenly burning with a white hot anger and I couldn’t take it out on her and discipline her because I’m not actually a manager. Needing some sort of outlet, I resorted to doing quick ninja kicks aimed at nothing and shaking my fists up and down. I wished I was a manager so badly so that I could respond to her email by saying “if that’s how you feel, you can go ahead and feel falsely entitled in the unemployment line because your ass is fired!”
But of course I can’t do that. I don’t have the authority to do that. Instead I have to suck it up, wait until I’m less angry, and respond politely, letting her get away with being a pretentious bitch. I know that realistically, even if I were a manager, I would still need to keep my cool and respond calmly. But after going through so many frustrations the last couple months, I really wish I could just let it all out to this girl. It would be so incredibly satisfying.
My job isn’t really terrible, and I do still enjoy it most of the time, but it has just been a frustrating season, and I want it to be over. I’m sick of having to be so flexible in shifting back and forth between the management role, and the worker role. It’s exhausting. My work world is just too weird right now.
Hang in there SW! I am sure you are doing a great job and will be recognized for all your hard work. 🙂 One day hopefully you will have the power to really be in charge.