A field guide to growing up without growing apart
Man I love menfolk. It’s not that I don’t love women (female empowerment forever!), but I also just really (really) enjoy men, and as a result of spending the last few weekends in the company of more of the opposite sex than usual, I’m reminded […]
So I’m single. I have been for a while. And in my day to day life it is most often not an issue. I have great family and friends and I don’t feel I lack love in any way. I even find ways to get […]
So, ladies and gentlemen of the internet world, I have a confession to make. I am 23, and I have never been kissed. 
Is this weird? Isn’t that something that is supposed that happen to you when you are sixteen? If not before? Somehow ‘sweet twenty-three and never been kissed’ just doesn’t have the same ring. But well, that is the reality of my lie: more than 23 years on the planet and not a single kiss from a guy.
So, yeah, somehow I gather this is supposed to be a problem. The other day, I mentioned my lack of kissing experience in passing to a friend and her response was ‘oh honey, I’m sorry’–in almost the same tone reserved for expressing sympathy for terminal diseases.
But here’s the thing: I’ve never really had anyone to kiss. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve gone on my share of dates, and feel quite confident that I could of elicited some kissing action out of at least a few of them– but somehow I have never wanted to. It’s always been one of those moments of I’m-just-not-that-into-you. And, maybe I am purist, but I have never had the desire smooch my lips against the face of someone else whom I wasn’t crazy about. It just doesn’t sound appealing, and in instances where it seemed like it was coming, I have always managed to stave it off. Keep your kissing to yourself.
So yeah, I have tended to be somewhat conflicted about the whole kissing thing: often happy to have avoided it, but then also sometimes embarrassed about the whole ‘never been kissed thing’. But this all changed a few weeks ago.
So, you might remember that I have this friend, Percival? (If not check out my post.) Well, things are still sort of complicated between us, but he came to visit a few weeks ago- technically he was in the UK figuring out his living situation for next year- but yep, a couple days in Oxford were definitely part of the plan. We had a great time while he was here (no kissing… don’t get too excited, if that was where you though this was going you were wrong). We ate, went on walks, and generally just had a nice weekend. But during this idyllic weekend I asked him one of the big questions: what, exactly, was his past relationship history with women? And you know what, he didn’t have one. No girlfriends, no sex, no kissing. He even had me beat: twenty-seven and never been kissed.
But you know, I couldn’t have been happier about Percival’s confession. Although some people might be embarrassed, to me it meant that he was a strong person, who didn’t need to always be with someone else to feel completed, who hadn’t caved to idea that relationships should be your mark of a successful life. He had waited patiently, for the right time and the right person. And really, all of sudden the fact that I had never been kissed didn’t seem like such a bad thing after all. In fact, I was happy about it.
Although, of course, if any kissing happens, I’ll let you know. Does anyone else have any good stories about being kissed- or being not kissed?
Naughty Princesses Assemble! We’ve been at this whole blogging thing for a few months now (so far so good??) and I figured it was time you folks learned a bit more about the four of us and why we go by the pseudonyms we do! […]
So. I am not sure if you all remember but the last time I posted about, well, guys was the rather intense Lady Mareena Encounters Even Worse Troubles. That chapter did, I believe, prove that Lady Mareena’s story is well named. Of course, you got […]
Today, I was sitting in an undisclosed Oxonian location hard at work on my dissertation – okay, maybe a slight amount of exaggeration is employed here, but whatever- when, out of the blue, a random fellow shows up and starts asking my opinion about teleportation. If you are teleported from here to New York, and in the process, your body was destroyed and recreated, is the person in New York the real you?
Now, if some unknown person on the street were to ask you your opinion about the ethical results of teleportation you might be slightly surprised. But not in Oxford. In Oxford, such a question is a quintessential pick-up line. It is the academic equivalent to ‘hey baby, you wanna dance?’– but in this instance the dancing is conversational and self-consciously erudite.
You may think I am exaggerating– surely grad students at Oxford are not that weird– but to prove my point I will list a couple other pick up lines that have been used on me in the last year or so.
The worst was probably when the ‘Medieval Romance’ exhibit was on at the Bodleian library last year. If you don’t remember let me remind you: I study the Middle Ages. Somehow these two facts cannot coexist without the result of questions like, ‘Hey Merskank, want to go check out the Medieval Romance exhibit… with me?’ Very subtle, Oxford men. Very subtle.
Let’s see. I have also been asked if I wanted to go to Roman night at the museum. Apparently there are reconstructions of classical board games we could play…
Another winner: ‘Hey do want to go visit Tolkien’s grave this weekend?’ That was a pretty good one actually. I mean, everyone knows: Tolkien is the best.
As far as conversations go, the first time I hung out in my college bar last year, I ended up talking to a guy for an hour about the theory of multiple universes: if it is sustainable, and how it interacts with the laws of physics. A month later, another guy chatted me up talking about his research into ‘ineffability’. Oh yes, we were talking about the unspeakable– how much hotter can you metaphorically get?
But yes, the gist of my post is that if a guy comes up and asks you particularly obscure or nerdy questions, or if he invites you on obscure or nerdy outings: he is definitely hitting on you. Trust me. I think half the time, girls at Oxford fail to recognize the methods of truly nerdy guys. We expect things like– ‘I was wondering, do you want to do coffee’ but instead we get: ‘hey, I was wondering what you think about vowel gradation system in German. I’ve been comparing it to Sanskrit and the Indo-European implications are fascinating.’
Now, I think I mentioned a few days ago there might be another chapter of Lady’s Mareena and Her Torrid Troubles on the way. However, although you all have been undoubtedly on the edge of your seat waiting, I wasn’t at first planning to write […]