Once upon a time, there were four naughty princesses. These princesses had just begun a new adventure in a land called college, but they had not yet met each other. If they knew they were naughty, it was a shadow of an inkling, an inner rebellious twitch that had not realized itself.
It is a fact universally acknowledged that in the land of college, friendships are often forged in mysterious ways. For the four naughty princesses, this initiation into friendship took the form of FunFetti cake, Trivial Pursuit, and naked stories. The princesses had gathered with a group of would-be friends to enjoy some FunFetti cake baked in an illicit toaster oven in The Little Merskank’s dorm room. As it happened the conversation took a turn for the titillating, and one by one the girls shared stories of the times they had been naked, or nearly naked. Being still quite innocent (not yet having embraced their inner naughtiness), most of these stories were tame. One involved almost skinny-dipping with a group of high school friends. Another recounted ice-boxing, Snow Whore’s favorite past-time: driving shirtless around her snowy homeland in the dead of winter, windows rolled down and AC blasting. Talking about these scandalous moments began to break down the walls the girls had, and led to a lot of laughter. And, as everyone knows, cake, laughter, and embarrassing stories are an excellent recipe for friendship.
The evening later turned to board games (an indication that the princesses were still very new to the college scene). Being as they were, extremely bright and well-read ladies, the group selected Trivial Pursuit, and the good old version from the 80s no less. The brainy game progressed normally until they stumbled across a question asking for the name of the heroine in a Grimm Brothers story. The answer? Cinderslut.
The maidens were shocked by this rendering of their beloved Disney princess’s name, but also highly amused. It did not take long before they broke out the Bananagram tiles, concocting similarly naughty names and bestowing them on each other: Sleeping Booty, Snow Whore, The Little Merskank, and yours truly, Cinderslut.
And thus, a night that had begun with loose acquaintances resulted in four fast friends and four new naughty identities. From that night they faced the happily ever after ahead of them together, never imagining the travels, trials, and triumphs that awaited them. In fact, the princesses would later find out that actual naked shenanigans are even more bonding than telling naked stories. But those are tales for another time.